Wednesday, July 23, 2008

NOW I KNOW MY ABC...DEATH TO THE BOOGE-WAH-AR-ZEE!

You really want to get over to Infinite Thought Blog, pronto, before all the letters of the alphabet run out: DR PYGGE, the lady who maintains that online grimoir, is offering free philosophical meanderings on the subject of your choice. I've got a horrible feeling that my request for a indepth breakdown on "John Tyndall" is gonna be met with Nazi twat. Dead. Any other fascinating suggestions, BTI?, but I couldn't request "MOTORWAY SOCIALISM" as some other folk had blagged the 'M's. I think one of the 'X's is intact, so "XYLITOL - THE FIRST TWO ALBUMS" might be a good punt, if you're that way inclined.

I think this is fucking brilliant, actually - just enter any subject and somebody blogs about it. A Random Oracleâ„¢ Generator. Can't we subject Dr Pygge to neurosurgery? Open up her head, peer into her brain, scoop out the stalks, cells and slimey bits that do boring stuff like regulate sleeping patterns and appreciate sunsets - shove a hard drive into her cranium - and keep her awake and at her screen 24/7? Then, when the rest of us are itching to death in the fiery pits of insomnia, we could email her topics and marvel as she delivers a well-crafted, 600-word take on each proposal.

I suppose, technically, we'd be "denying her a life" - but we could just impose a heavy tax on baby strollers, and use the proceeds to buy her luxury items, as a sort of thank you. "Conscience money", as the Confederation of British Industry doesn't call it any more.
Comments:
Open up her head, peer into her brain, scoop out the stalks, cells and slimey bits that do boring stuff like regulate sleeping patterns and appreciate sunsets

I do believe this has already occurred without the need for additional surgical intervention.

What kind of 'luxury items' did you have in mind, by the way? Tell me!

By the way: 'Nazi twat. Dead' Pretty much! I look forward to doing the research tho.
 
Actually, don't bother with Tyndall, it's a waste of everyone's time, including yours. There's not much to discover beyond him dressing up as Albert Speer and taking little boys on camping holidays in fascist-friendly villages in Belgium.

Valentina Tereshkova might be more fun...
 
Ok, yeah, I'll change the 'T'.

Are we allowed to meet up again now btw after the bus-fight incident, the punching incident and probably the other incidents?! It's been a year or so! No one can get hurt!
 
He's the father of modern electricity, you ungrateful beasts!
 
Don't blame me - I thought the Cinestatic Politburo had issued an order to desist from socialising with counter-revolutionary elements. Anyway, you're a doctor now, and I'm a highly respected Woofah contributor (ie-nobody else could come up with seven Ninjaman tracks), so there'd better be no flying glasses and knifehandchops down the Glasshouse Stores, or I'll be well pissed off!

STN - what happened to your second comment? It's sad but true.

Incidentally, bought one of those Vodafone dongles to go online. Only the thick cunts have put one of those 'content control' things on it, to protect brats from surfing through obscene sites. Little bastards - I mean, it's not enough they shit their pants, get free bus rides, scream like banshees in cafe's and wreck Michael Jackson's career, the scum are now policing my web access. And, and, guess what - Vodafone's anti-porn policy's so effective that I was able to watch some S&M tripe on Youtube (I was searching for something else - riot grrrl, actually) - but I can't log onto K-Punk - it's 'restricted'. Luckily I can cancel within 14 days, so I'm gonna kick off and demand more freebies or throw the deal back in Vodafone's faces. Fiasco.
 
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