Thursday, September 22, 2005


I won't hear a word against George Michael. We're both from the same area in North West London (we even lived on the same street - not at the same time, though). So that's something to bear in mind - Beyond the Implode Blog comes from the same Co-op / Poundstretcher / Iraqi newsagent / fried chicken shop / bingo hall / Irish pub-infested streets that inspired "Young Guns" and "Wham! Rap". Me and George, eh - both Burnt Oak boys, seeking our fortunes in the big, wide world. Only he made it to "Club Tropicana" and I've landed up in a small flat in Finsbury Park.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005


In an attempt to emulate the spirit of those brave bloggers who've exposed themselves to the risk of ridicule by sharing their teenage poetry and writings with us(before hastily withdrawing them), I have decided to go out on a limb and post the pro-ALF lyrics I wrote for our severely bad punk band, 'Legion of Morons', back IN 1998 IF I RECALL CORRECTLY. I'd like to make it clear that my views have changed somewhat since then. Although I never managed to give up meat, leather goods,dairy products or Head and Shoulders, I was otherwise quite committed to the struggle for animal liberation - if I had one criticism of the ALF it was that it was too 'soft '- anyway....I might well feel so embarrassed by this, you can almost certainly expect this post to be deleted shortly. But for now, here for the first time in over 10 years, transcribed from bits of A4 paper, are the lyrics to the "Free them All" EP, never recorded or released, ever.


Is it H-Block - or a zoo?
Animals are political prisoners too
Bobby Sands - or tortured shrew?
No difference between them and you
Speciesist apathy, you just don't care
Would you free Mandela if he was a hare?
Would you support Silcott if he was a bear?
You hypocrites just stand and stare

Animals = political prisoners
Join the Front, burn the labs to ashes
Liberate our revolutionary comrades
All-out war on the Dewhurst fascists

You want to free Mumia Abu-Jamal now
But fuck the rabbit, ferret, sheep, puppy, cat and cow
Pigs stage dirty protests, smeared in their own faeces
To you, class war's only for your own species


There's a decent old man who's never hurt a fly
But the State banged him up and left him to die
But you'll never see a tear in his bespectacled eye
Just the glimmer of a plan to smash and burn every sty

Ronnie Lee, we gotta set him free

Smash dogowners' heads in with baseball bats
Tie up old spinsters and liberate their cats
Bomb every Burger King in the UK
Never give in til Ronnie's home to stay


Balaclavas, ski masks and bomber jackets
Incendiary devices concealed in packets
Seething with anger and out to start a ruck
We're gonna blow the local Mc Donalds to fuck

Kick over the hives, liberate the bees
Bring the honey industry to its knees

We are the famous ALF
We're gonna leave your farm in a fucking mess
Strut around in fur and you'll draw your last breath
It's all-out liberation or violent bloody death

Stroking the bunnies we've just liberated
We don't give a fuck if we're feared or hated
Punks, skinheads, rockers don't count anymore
No subcultures matter in the Animal War

Vegan power's all we need to be free
So fuck Red Action and fuck the BNP

Kicking in cages, freeing rats and stoats
Drilling tiny holes in the hulls of fishing boats
Making obscene calls to Bernard Matthews' wife at night
We're the famous ALF and we're ready to fight


Packing the train to the countryside
Knocking back brews on a 3-hour ride
All tooled up and fighting for the Front
We're gonna do some posh-os at the Berkshire Hunt

Oi! Oi!Oi!
Fuck kill destroy
Breaking hunters' legs is what we enjoy

Police vans skidding through the mud
Hunters spitting out teeth and blood
Foxes and deer make their getaways quick
Hound handlers dying by bottle and brick

Daily Mail says we're the shame of the nation
Calls us the wreckers of civilisation
But we'll be back next week, rabid with defiance
Battering and splattering the Countryside Alliance

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