Wednesday, October 10, 2007
RUSSIAN BLOODY MARYS, IN 5 EASY STEPS
1) You need - a bottle of Russian vodka, tomato juice, a table knife, tall glasses. Fuck tabasco - you're not round your gran's now, cupcake! You also need to resign yourself to the fact that you're embarking on a sensational journey. You'll be coming face to face with your inner beast, and odds are it won't be pretty. If you've got any turntables or DVD players lying around, best to stash them in a safe place, IMMEDIATELY. Oh, you should ideally have a Russian Bloody Mary session with other people, by the way.
2) Pour a dollop of tomato juice into the glass first. This will serve as your 'base' before you add the vodka 'topsoil'.
3) Take the table knife by the handle. Now, pour the vodka in a neat stream over the blade and into the glass. You'll notice that the vodka settles as a separate layer on top of the tomato juice. That's physics for you! Or is it biomolecular chemistry, or plant biology? Don't ask me - I spent school science lessons writing lyrics for awful teenage punk bands. Anyway, your Russian Bloody Mary is now ready - but first...
4) Make a toast. You can toast anyone and anything you like, but you have to toast. Toast your host, your dead dad, corrupt politicians, disco divas, your pet dog - whatever and whoever. Shit, me and this girl got blitzed on RBMs once and we ended up toasting "the bloke who put the leather trim on these seats", so the sky's the limit. You then conclude your toast by shouting "NOSTROVIA!" and everyone downs their glass, IN ONE. Feel the vodka coarsing through your bloodstream just a nanosecond before the tomato juice slithers down your gullet!
5) Repeat steps 2-4 ad infinitum. Remember, it's the height of bad manners to excuse yourself because you're "feeling ill" - your hosts would rather you sprayed your yak into a bin and carried on drinking than beat a hasty retreat. The session ends when you wake up three days later and your liver's sitting in front of the TV, clutching a coffee and a fag and weeping blood.
2) Pour a dollop of tomato juice into the glass first. This will serve as your 'base' before you add the vodka 'topsoil'.
3) Take the table knife by the handle. Now, pour the vodka in a neat stream over the blade and into the glass. You'll notice that the vodka settles as a separate layer on top of the tomato juice. That's physics for you! Or is it biomolecular chemistry, or plant biology? Don't ask me - I spent school science lessons writing lyrics for awful teenage punk bands. Anyway, your Russian Bloody Mary is now ready - but first...
4) Make a toast. You can toast anyone and anything you like, but you have to toast. Toast your host, your dead dad, corrupt politicians, disco divas, your pet dog - whatever and whoever. Shit, me and this girl got blitzed on RBMs once and we ended up toasting "the bloke who put the leather trim on these seats", so the sky's the limit. You then conclude your toast by shouting "NOSTROVIA!" and everyone downs their glass, IN ONE. Feel the vodka coarsing through your bloodstream just a nanosecond before the tomato juice slithers down your gullet!
5) Repeat steps 2-4 ad infinitum. Remember, it's the height of bad manners to excuse yourself because you're "feeling ill" - your hosts would rather you sprayed your yak into a bin and carried on drinking than beat a hasty retreat. The session ends when you wake up three days later and your liver's sitting in front of the TV, clutching a coffee and a fag and weeping blood.
Labels: "We're so over", Brezhnev bites off comrade's ear during SALT II treaty talks, charge sheet, cirrhosis, hazy memories of high street vandalism
# posted by Martin : 11:07 AM <%=MakeComment("3289834409869133250","beyond the implode:RUSSIAN BLOODY MARYS, IN 5 EASY STEPS","http://seagullscreamingkillherkillher.blogspot.com/2007/10/russian-bloody-marys-in-5-easy-steps.html")%>
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"The session ends when you wake up three days later and your liver's sitting in front of the TV, clutching a coffee and a fag and weeping blood."
lmao cuz that's how i feel today!!
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lmao cuz that's how i feel today!!
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