Friday, December 01, 2006

Yet another BASH review

Oh, I just can't be BOTHERED to do loads of writing this morning - so here's the edited high / low lights;


* A new Bug / Tippa Irie mash-up which might be called "They Get Me Mad" - the dog's bollocks, seriously - this needs to be released on the general public pronto. Tippa disses suicide bombers and other nastiness.

* Some hip hop track played early on, with what sounded like a Japanese woman gurgling over the top. Another one with a sample of someone saying "Annihilate". I absolutely refuse to ask DJs what they're playing, so sorry, I can't provide much more info on what this was! Incidentally, I used to vaguely know a bloke who DJ'd in South London and someone asked him about some obscure, boring techno platter he was spinning down the backroom of the Skinner Arms. He ended up throwing a beer at his inquisitor and screaming, "Ah, why can't you fucking chat up girls like everyone else!"

* Hearing Cutty Ranks on a club PA - it's never the same at home.

* Playing David Attenborough and observing some dancefloor courting rituals. A bumfluffed youth dressed in black was trying to make an impression on a girl in a white top with her back hanging out by performing some unique dance routine. You really should have seen this - I don't know what sort of damn fool videos this bloke's been watching, but it was like a 4-way cross between 1) Flashdance 2) Drunken office worker in pelvic thrust burn-out 3) Some sort of 13th century jester pirouette 4) A disabled hamster in a washing machine. Look, if this is sounding cruel, I'm trying to big him up! I don't think he got any though - apart from laughs, that is.

* The bloke who gave me a roll-up - respect is due.


* Sitting in the Barleymow before BASH opened and having to listen to two sensitive new age dads having some intense conversation about their offspring, which turned into one guy spilling his soggy guts about his family history - he was bullied by his handicapped dad, his mum cheated him out of some of his inheritance when his dad died, he was bullied at school, he went through years of repressed anger - and now, to cap it all, his son doesn't seem to want to hug him. I'm no macho wanker, but WHY did I have to listen to this until John Eden entered the pub, splattered in blood and pus, and scared these mishgugglers away? If the BASH crew had opened up earlier, I would have been spared this nightmare.

* High Priest - I know, who? Something to do with Anti-Pop Consortium, whose records I'll be completely avoiding next time I'm scouring the bargain bins. Just boring - toothless, vague bits of hip hop, bit of a dub bassline, total switchoff. The crowd began to file towards the bar, the brilliant dancehall vibe of the past 90 minutes washed away like dead dreams in the rain. The worst BASH booking so far - Ari Up, all is forgiven.

So, there you go.
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