Thursday, March 30, 2006

The images that REALLY pop into my head when I hear these songs

(NOTE- Warning to bloggers. If you ever post something libellous, don't think you'll be able to just delete your blog to destroy the evidence and avoid prosecution. For reasons unfathomable to me, the muck from BTi is all still cached in cyberspace - it sort of reveals itself at its own pace, y'know? This shite is from August 2004, and was originally accompanied by a disgusting picture which no longer exists)

1) Conflict "Increase the Pressure"

A group of elderly dwarves on crack, wearing bright yellow pac-a-macs, barging their way onto a Merry Go Round, flashing their cocks, punching children off their horses, swigging booze and finally getting yanked into copcars in a maelstrom of verbal abuse and crushed Strongbow Super cans

2) Led Zep "Immigrant Song"

Frank Bough prowling the Amsterdam red light district, window shopping, with a copy of Hellenic Navy Girls mag tucked inside his snorkel jacket

3) The Union Gap "Young Girl"

Someone drowning in a swimming pool, with the song booming out of the chlorine filters, while blurred figures, shimmering above the surface, sprinkle rose petals over the pool

4) Stranglers "London Lady"

A Minder-style fight breaking out in a motorway cafe which has a load of old posters of the 1982 England world cup squad and Panda Cola adverts tacked to the walls

5) The Clash "Pressure Drop"

Mick Jones and Joe Strummer drawing the curtains, whispering, Are you sure no-one can see in?, before ripping off their leather jackets, dolling themselves up in Timmy Mallett-style luminous beachwear and backwards baseball caps, and giggling like retarded 5-year olds as they throw themselves round their bedsit, playing Fisher Price guitars in a shameless yet sordid burst of white reggae bumfoolery
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