BEYOND THE IMPLODE 3 - BRITISH AIRWAYS 0

I'm just not sure about that new Sugababe, Mutya's replacement. Not sure at all, readers. Maybe I'm wrong, but it's as if the group's management said, "Let's just get someone Asian looking, only a bit trimmer this time". She looks awkward, like she's expecting to be sent back to the QVC channel at a minute's notice. It's a far cry from the glory days of 'Angels With Dirty Faces', with its fuzzy cover like a 1979 snapshot of Burnt Oak park noir and truancy. I wish they'd just shut up now, to be honest.

Whitehouse have discovered the Soul Jazz "Voodoo Drums" CD for their new album, distorted it so it sounds like some spluttering lawnmower parts, and matched it to a load of whining about fired band member Peter Sotos. Once, the band proclaimed Sotos' scribblings about masturbating over pictures of abducted children to be"genius" ; now he's apparently an "ignorant, goatish, greybeard cunt". Nothing here you couldn't have picked up off the last 3 albums, but God knows what the band's Japanese hardcore fanbase will make of lyrics like "The Vienna Boys' Choir / Pissing on Limahl!" Personally, I thought that documentary about the bloke who lived on 15 large pizzas a day and had to be cut out of the side of the house was more 'extreme' than this, but then I've developed this massive appreciation for the "Mastermind"* theme tune recently, and can't stop marvelling at its bleak, forboding elegance.