Wednesday, February 08, 2006
FEBRUARY LISTENING POST
THE FOUNDRY - "OPEN PIANO" NIGHT
I attended this event last night in the hope that we'd have a bit of a CHAS 'N' DAVE meets STOCKHAUSEN guerilla art riot / knees-up, with people slapping the keys and ranting about torching the German Embassy, as an act of revenge against Der Spiegel for publishing a degrading cartoon of SUPERMAN. Reality can be a tough cross to bear sometimes, and this event was a hike of GOLGOTHA-style proportions. In fact, apart from two blokes who were actually quite good, nobody seemed to bother going up for a 'turn' - well, apart from one girl, who briefly and self-consciously brushed her fingers against the keys, before returning to her friend. OK, so these blokes were 'good' - they could probably get summer jobs playing to geriatric Yorkshiremen in a hotel bar in Cyprus - but let's be honest, pianos are such wank "instruments" aren't they? Good for crushing PG Tips monkeys down flights of stairs, and not a lot else. This was the worst 'event' I've ever been to, though it must be stressed, the Foundry remains a top pub.
JOHN EDEN - Best of 2005 Mix
('Uncarved' link , 'free')
Well, what can I say - absolutely nothing! The track listing is top secret, and I'm forbidden to discuss its contents in case people guess what's on it. I haven't got any interesting reggae stories, really, though I did recently dig out the '76 Horace Ove' film "Pressure" and nearly had a nostalgic sob at the bit where the mighty TOMMY VANCE (RIP) raves about how much he's in love with reggae chanteuse Sharon Forrester. To think that we once had REAL MEN like Vance charming the nation's airwaves - a man who could happily groove on down to Lover's Rock AND take on a muddy field of Hell's Angels and Greasers, dodging lemonade bottles filled with piss, just to announce that Whitesnake would be coming on stage 10 minutes later than scheduled - and now we have SLOBS and DRIPS like Chris Moyles and every single fucker on XFM....I dunno...
I remember when my older brother went through his racist phase, he used to do a 'version' of Linton Kwesi Johnson's "Sonny's Lettah", where he'd sing, "Me timid like a mouse and me break into his house". Oh, hang on, I do have something interesting to say about reggae! Buy THIS...
MAD PROFESSOR - METHOD TO THE MADNESS 2xCD
Very good, could have done without the Massive Attack (ZZZ...) remix though
COBRA KILLER - Third Armpit
Their new album's rubbish, since one of them had a baby they don't throw themselves around or writhe in spilt beer and bodily fluids at their 'gigs' anymore, so buy this instead, from 2002, back when they had rough as fuck beats and decent samples, this is the electroclash version of Extreme Noise Terror filling in KLF's slot at the 1992 Brit Awards (but better)
ORDINARY BOYS - Boys Will Be Boys
Preston the necrophile successfully fucks the decomposing cadaver of Walt Jabsco, 2-Tone re-imagined as a spending spree in ripoff Carnaby Street (ZZZ...) 'mod' store Merc ( famous for selling ludicrously overpriced pseudo-Harrington jackets with faulty zips). Short of a car ploughing into the shifty-eyed cunt and killing him instantly, The Exploited's classic "FUCK THE MODS" has never sounded more relevant. I mean, what would you rather have, a motorbike (ie- NOISY, FAST, allows you to release BILLOWS OF EXHAUST FUMES over Ken and Barbie couples in convertibles)...or a MOPED?? A roofless mini-POPEMOBILE? Wankers.
THE GO! TEAM - new single
Sort of reminds me of what it'd sound like if the "Why Don't You" kids pretended to be Blaggers ITA and got produced by DJ Shadow (ZZZZ....), which isn't actually bad, I like their spirit, but I'm already bored with it. Prediction - Ninja releases her own solo 'rap' album in a few months' time, and everyone disses her as "the new MIA" (except me)
I attended this event last night in the hope that we'd have a bit of a CHAS 'N' DAVE meets STOCKHAUSEN guerilla art riot / knees-up, with people slapping the keys and ranting about torching the German Embassy, as an act of revenge against Der Spiegel for publishing a degrading cartoon of SUPERMAN. Reality can be a tough cross to bear sometimes, and this event was a hike of GOLGOTHA-style proportions. In fact, apart from two blokes who were actually quite good, nobody seemed to bother going up for a 'turn' - well, apart from one girl, who briefly and self-consciously brushed her fingers against the keys, before returning to her friend. OK, so these blokes were 'good' - they could probably get summer jobs playing to geriatric Yorkshiremen in a hotel bar in Cyprus - but let's be honest, pianos are such wank "instruments" aren't they? Good for crushing PG Tips monkeys down flights of stairs, and not a lot else. This was the worst 'event' I've ever been to, though it must be stressed, the Foundry remains a top pub.
JOHN EDEN - Best of 2005 Mix
('Uncarved' link , 'free')
Well, what can I say - absolutely nothing! The track listing is top secret, and I'm forbidden to discuss its contents in case people guess what's on it. I haven't got any interesting reggae stories, really, though I did recently dig out the '76 Horace Ove' film "Pressure" and nearly had a nostalgic sob at the bit where the mighty TOMMY VANCE (RIP) raves about how much he's in love with reggae chanteuse Sharon Forrester. To think that we once had REAL MEN like Vance charming the nation's airwaves - a man who could happily groove on down to Lover's Rock AND take on a muddy field of Hell's Angels and Greasers, dodging lemonade bottles filled with piss, just to announce that Whitesnake would be coming on stage 10 minutes later than scheduled - and now we have SLOBS and DRIPS like Chris Moyles and every single fucker on XFM....I dunno...
I remember when my older brother went through his racist phase, he used to do a 'version' of Linton Kwesi Johnson's "Sonny's Lettah", where he'd sing, "Me timid like a mouse and me break into his house". Oh, hang on, I do have something interesting to say about reggae! Buy THIS...
MAD PROFESSOR - METHOD TO THE MADNESS 2xCD
Very good, could have done without the Massive Attack (ZZZ...) remix though
COBRA KILLER - Third Armpit
Their new album's rubbish, since one of them had a baby they don't throw themselves around or writhe in spilt beer and bodily fluids at their 'gigs' anymore, so buy this instead, from 2002, back when they had rough as fuck beats and decent samples, this is the electroclash version of Extreme Noise Terror filling in KLF's slot at the 1992 Brit Awards (but better)
ORDINARY BOYS - Boys Will Be Boys
Preston the necrophile successfully fucks the decomposing cadaver of Walt Jabsco, 2-Tone re-imagined as a spending spree in ripoff Carnaby Street (ZZZ...) 'mod' store Merc ( famous for selling ludicrously overpriced pseudo-Harrington jackets with faulty zips). Short of a car ploughing into the shifty-eyed cunt and killing him instantly, The Exploited's classic "FUCK THE MODS" has never sounded more relevant. I mean, what would you rather have, a motorbike (ie- NOISY, FAST, allows you to release BILLOWS OF EXHAUST FUMES over Ken and Barbie couples in convertibles)...or a MOPED?? A roofless mini-POPEMOBILE? Wankers.
THE GO! TEAM - new single
Sort of reminds me of what it'd sound like if the "Why Don't You" kids pretended to be Blaggers ITA and got produced by DJ Shadow (ZZZZ....), which isn't actually bad, I like their spirit, but I'm already bored with it. Prediction - Ninja releases her own solo 'rap' album in a few months' time, and everyone disses her as "the new MIA" (except me)
# posted by Martin : 9:13 AM <%=MakeComment("113939324101998938","beyond the implode:FEBRUARY LISTENING POST","http://seagullscreamingkillherkillher.blogspot.com/2006/02/february-listening-post.html")%>
