BEYOND THE IMPLODE 3 - BRITISH AIRWAYS 0

Seeing as I couldn't give a toss about Euro 2008, apart from the Russia games, here's a bit of poetry for your cultural advancement:.

"FUCKED BY THE DEVIL"

When I spotted her
Cloven hooves, I pulled out of
Her sulphuric snatch

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"BLOODY AMATEUR"

I SAID whip my arse
And tell me I'm shit: not take
My bloody skin off

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"BARGAIN BASEMENT"

Yes! Fuck you, Fred West
Shit plumber! Least my offspring
Bore me some grandkids!

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"QUEER BASHER"


Sorry for smacking
You in the face with this bat -
You're quite cute, you see

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"WHEN PORNOGRAPHY IS NO LONGER ENOUGH"

Playing my Sutcliffe
Jugend LP, I twig: I've
Never met a bird

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"WATERSPORTS FOR ALL"

Funnily enough
It's not so unlike Kwiksave
No Frills orange juice

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"SQUEAMISH"

You had to ruin it
By taking off your rubber
Hood. You look like dad.

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"MARSH FARM '94"

Jesus cursed my cock
Your tits popped out, Allah wept
Blasphemous bunk-up!

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"GROUPIE REMEMBERS"

The worst was with Sting:
The tantric was OK, but
God, the post-shag tunes...

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"COCK PIT"

So this is it? The
Mile High Club's just a handjob?
Is this RyanAir?